Hail there travelers! I am back and the new year and new decade has already rocketed by the first month. It flew past with my birthday and a subsequent flu that knocked me out for the past couple of weeks. Needless to say I knew I had to get back to this before the month completely whipped by. In fact the whole reason for this blog was a realization I had when attempting to while away hours wasted by the flu with nothing but my laptop and a few books.
Before, I had written a blog on the struggle with obstacles around us that threaten to take our inspiration, and how we need to fight and write in spite of them if inspiration is to come at all. I dealt with externals. But, let’s face it, most of the things that are going to stop us from writing are things on the inside. Insecurity, perfectionism, pride, inadequacy. They come by a million names.
I was having a hard time writing when I was sick despite a clear head, a will to write, inspiration actually present and all the time and means in the world to do so. Problem was that I have had an ongoing struggle with my perfectionism. I am frankly afraid to write without ensuring that my plot is thought out entirely. Yes, I know that this is basically death by stagnation to any creative process. The frightening thing is how hard it seems to break out of it. The critic in my mind combines every critique of mistakes I’ve seen in other media, mistakes I’ve made in earlier writing and a need to prove myself all manifest in that good old adage. I’m my own worst critic.
But when I say worst, I might not only mean the critic that is harshest on me, but can be the most inaccurate one. And frankly I want to help anyone who reads this understand what I am beginning to take to heart.
We are supposed to strive for EXCELLENCE, NOT PERFECTION. Whether it comes to our moral conduct, our skills or anything else, the whole point of human existence is not to reach some theoretical perfection under our own steam power. To consider it possible is borderline arrogance and a definite impossibility. Excellence, however, implies always striving for the best, even if it is not reached. Like C.S. Lewis said, as long as the will to walk and get up after each stumble is there, He is pleased even in our stumbles. This will encourage us to make good, coherent, meaningful fiction but perhaps can chip away at the paranoia of making mistakes.
There is no perfect work. Whether my pride likes it or not (which I am convinced is somewhere close to the root of my perfectionism). No matter how many drafts I make, now matter how many edits I make, there will always be something I missed. There’s an often repeated saying that “you never really finish, you just run out of time.” I’m beginning to think that even if we have unlimited time, we would still never make a flawless story. Knowing this, I realize that all that is left for me is to do my best, find help where I can and commit the rest to my Maker.
I can’t fix a mistake in my writing that I haven’t written yet. All the prep and planning in the world is not going to iron out every mistake before it happens. And if I never write it, I can never correct it. The fear just keeps writing from ever being done, and therefore I would be always caught in the mistakes I am afraid to make. The biggest mistake I could make is to end the day having not written anything when I had the opportunity. I can make another draft. I can rework a scene. I can change a storyline. But I cannot fix what doesn’t exist. The misty amorphous cloud of ideas in my head is not a story. It isn’t a story until it’s told.
So there’s some more of my ramblings on story. Here’s to actually living out this advice, aye? Until next time, Godspeed and Peace be with ya!
The Paladin Author 